All Things Grow

I’m really angry that there’s ONE therapist in my entire insurance network who is qualified to deal with sexuality and gender issues.

She also does fucking ‘faith-based counseling’, whatever the hell THAT means, and I am wary about it because most religions say people like me are evil and/or don’t exist, so I’M NOT SUPER OKAY WITH THE IDEA OF THAT??

And I Just

why

is this so hard

to find someone who probably won’t fucking judge me

who will help me

who I can trust

who is a THERAPIST?

like I don’t want to play a fucking guessing game, I don’t want to play Russian Roulette with therapy, with my MENTAL HEALTH, I want to know that I can go in and talk to someone about being trans and not be judged or proselytized to, and I also want to be able to talk about it and talk about how it impacts my anxiety and depression but also IS NOT THE ROOT of those things and not have it treated like that’s my sole problem

like how you go to the doctor and their advice is “lose some weight” if you’re fat, no matter what

I don’t want that

and I don’t want to have to guess at who will and will not do that

and it’s so fucking unfair that I do.